Celebrating Failure

Hello again,

       So there are two major failures that I've experienced this semester. The most recent was actually this past Friday and to be honest I'm nowhere near over it because I still haven't gotten to the part where I'm over it or have learned from it. Due to this I'll start to tell you guys about the first. Ever since my transition from Belgium to Peru, I started doing really bad in math class and this issue remained for the rest of my high school years. It's been the most challenging subject to work with and I can confidently say it's definitely my worst. This is even evidenced here in Gainesville specifically back in my freshman year when I had to drop my first course being that of pre calculus. This issue has gotten so bad that eventually I almost always walk into anything having to do with math with the mindset that I just know I'm going to fail. This means my failure is basically presupposed and even premeditated. My biggest success was last summer semester when I got an A in my math course but then again it was math for sociology majors so often times people downplay that accomplishment when I personally am so proud of it.
        This semester however, my current math course is stats 1 and to be entirely honest I started really bad. I will say I did a good job of keeping up with the work but when I completely bombed my first exam I lost all hope and got very discouraged to even try. It wasn't until two weeks ago that I experienced the most wonderful turn. I studied so hard and I'll admit I procrastinated a lot to even start studying and in my second exam I went from an F to a B-. I know B- still isn't my best BUT the huge leap betwee those grades is something I'm extremely proud of and I feel so determined to stay on top of things especially for my third exam. I'm determined to do this because I proved to myself that I could get a B- and if that was done form procrastinating imagine what could come of proper study time?
        This class has changed my perspective because it truly proved to me that I'm capable of doing this. I always just told myself I couldn't do it and I had no hope but after being able to accomplish that I feel very encouraged. I'm going to try my absolute best and it's an experience and subject I've experienced so much failure with, that I can now celebrate that journey. This experience has also changed my perspective on failure because I feel like hard work pays off but also because I'm now less intimidated by math.